El Nino Phenomenon, A Personal Version

It's really difficult to imagine that in a few more months, the network we built from scratch will vanish into thin air. Yes, the telecom network that we constructed a few years ago had been sold to one of the bigger operators in the country. Although this was anticipated when our the former major shareholder, an international operator itself, sold its entire share to its local partner.

Well the process actually started almost a year ago, but it didn't sink in until now. A lot of employees have already been released since it all started. Only a few of us are now working to finish the remaining tasks.

As it all happen, you come to think that things do really have their beginnings and ends. For ours, once a major threat in the industry, the end is here.

The question for me now, is what lies ahead after all of this?

I chose this role over the other offer I had prior to moving to this country because; 1) It's a better career option & 2) It presented a better opportunity for my career growth. The career growth was really there as I was able to achieve what I never thought was possible. I moved up the corporate ladder so fast that at one point, I  begin to question whether all the decisions I was making were the right ones. It seemed to be that way until all the mergers and sellouts happened.

You must be prepared when the worst of things come and that's what I regret the most, I didn't prepare myself enough. It's true that you should not dwell on things of the past but it is a lot easier said than done. You should live the present and prepare on what lies ahead or better yet plan ahead, a thought I should have kept with me all these times. There are lot's of what-if's now, a lot of what-could-have-been's.

The thing is, I find it more difficult to find a new job now than I used to before. While those who knew me seems to be optimistic of my professional future, I can't say the same for myself. I feel like there's an El Nino Phenomenon in my career nowadays and I can't seem to be on the same page with them. Not when you're receiving rejections and lots of dead-air responses from your job hunting.

It should have been a lot easier now that I have gained so much more experience. But I can't seem to hit the right spot, I can't seem to find the right gig for me. These predicaments are haunting me for a while now. I can't help but to think that I'm now insufficient to fit any role than I was before. It seems that I'm still not good enough (Talking about drought).

There was a time when my self esteem was so high I think I could jump off a twelve floor building and run away unscathed. I can't say the same... at least for now.

Then again, it's not all that bad (yet). I'm still in the payroll until all this handover is completed so that should calm me down, at least until the end. I'd like to think that a new seedling will emerge from the soil where the plant used to be.

But while all of my concerns remain valid and true, I hope, that things will fall into places at the right time. These are my tough days and probably a tough year ahead too, but I know that with the right attitude and perseverance, the grass will be greener. I just need to keep reminding myself of this day and that I should learn a thing or two from all of this, to better provide for my family now and for the years ahead.