Strengths and Weaknesses

What is it really that makes up strengths and weaknesses of people?

It is not always easy to pinpoint your strength and weakness. You're going to need a lot of input from the people you interact with. However, it is more often than not that people will tell you what you want to hear instead of the truth. That's because the truth always hurts people and majority of people don't want to hurt others.

Having said that, will it then be okay to define by yourself what your positives and negatives are?

In an interview for example, when an interviewer asks you about your strengths and weaknesses, will you tell them yours based on your job or based on your character? I believe that when a friend asks you know exactly how to respond, but when your career depends on it becomes a difficult question to answer.

I do believe though that in any circumstances, when strengths and weaknesses are asked, they generally would want to hear your character. It is the character of an individual that defines a person anyway.

For me, here I think are my strengths;

- I'm good at people management and relationship building. I also believe that this is my strongest asset.

- I'm good a leading and mentoring people, be it within my family or at work

- Good at planning and organising

- Great at working with others, collaborating is just more fun and makes difficult issues easy to deal with

- A problem solver and a decision maker

I believe that these are weaknesses;

- I can get out of focus at times

- I trust people very easily and this can lead to different results

- And because I trust people very easily, that makes me a reactive person at certain times.

These are mostly the feedback I get from my friends, colleagues and mentors. I do hope however,  that they are mostly the truth.

A Self-Promise on Our 10th Wedding Anniversary

We just celebrated our 10th wedding anniversary last week in Bangkok. It was a post celebration because we had so much in our hands the last couple of months. Our real anniversary is on the 18th of January and on that day, we only went to church and a simple lunch date.

We opted to go to Bangkok instead of going to the beach because for one, the travel time is far shorter :). Wifey booked this hidden paradise hotel in the middle of the city, Siam Kempinski Hotel Bangkok. Probably the best hotel we have stayed so far. The hotel itself was great. Great gardens, pools, amenities and really close to our favourite mall, Siam Paragon :).

The lay out of the pool was really great. It is also filled with sea water instead of the ordinary chlorinated one. Our son really wants to try the pool. Although we packed our swimming clothes, we were adamant on going because we were already tired but we found relaxation there instead so it was really worth the time spent. The atmosphere was just extraordinary and it has this exclusive resort / garden feel.

The people of Bangkok in general are nice, hospitable and welcoming. I really haven't been to any place in Thailand other than Bangkok so I can only assume that every where in the country, people's attitude would be the same. We liked how the hotel staff accommodates their guests. I believed service is already a culture and not just a part of the job.

Anyways, we couldn't believed that we are already on our 10th anniversary. It seemed like it was only a few years ago when we got married. Now here we are. We are praying to God that he will give us more years together. And that someday, we can do our version of road trip.

My wish is that, on our 15th anniversary, I wish we can renew our vows. For now though, I just want to thank my wife for being my best friend, my teacher, my nurse, my confidant, my everything. She had done so much for me without expecting anything in return. She makes me laugh (she laughs on my jokes too), she helps me make the best decisions (the ones that I made & the ones I am going to). She makes me feel more confident. She helps me achieve my goals and push my limits.

I know that I am not the perfect husband but I hope that she continues to stand by my side and continue to accept me for who I am. I promise to be a better best friend, teacher, nurse and confidant to her too.

And I promise to continue aiming higher... for us, Happy 10th Anniversary Honey.

Change of Environment

We are planning a trip to the beach this weekend to have a change of environment. The weather has been unpredictably annoying lately and it is giving us a hard time coping with our health.

My son has allergic rhinitis and is severely affected by a sudden change of weather. While there is very little we can do about it, we're thinking that a quick trip the sea shore might give us the breather we need.

We thought of flying to Bangkok too but the ocean trip offers more to the health of of our kid. Plus, lesser expenses.

***

I also need a change of environment when it comes to my career. My current company, as I have previously written, is coming to an end. And because of that, jobs that we do on a daily basis are getting less and less.

Apart from the fact that I needed a new job, I also think that it's about time to move on and have a change of environment. I am hoping to get a work somewhere else and leave Cambodia for good (and I pray for this to happen).

We have stayed here for almost 6 years now and it's getting comfortable. Something that I wanted to avoid because once you get comfortable with the environment, chances are you won't want to leave.  And as an expat, that may not be what you want and it isn't in my case. While it is not at all bad to get comfortable on a certain place, chances are your career growth will also be impeded at some point. (although I have to admit that that's case by case)

Anyway, a change of environment would be a great opportunity for us as a family so that's our next goal.

***

At least for now I have something to look forward to. Something to aim and go for. It excites me just thinking that we're going to start somewhere. Hopefully, we're going to do this soon.

Partners

In life there is always that someone who will help you through thick and thin. Maybe we don't seem to see it and we think that there's always more than one. We don't realise that there always that someone who seems to stand-out.

In my case, my wife.

We always cuddle up, with our son, before going to bed. Last night was no different. We always try to have our family talk before going to bed when something went wrong on that day. It's our way of 'reviewing' what went wrong and what lessons it taught us. Yesterday my son got cranky about his school homework. My wife did everything she could to help him out by suggesting alternatives on what he could do. But instead of listening and tried solving his dilemma, he cried.

As we were trying to recall the situation studying the lessons it brought and how that situation will help him in future incidents, he, again, cried. We've known for a while now that he has difficulties accepting his mistakes. Though we are working on that on a regular basis, keeping his emotions in check, is really tough for the kid. We knew though that he learns from all of this but when you're just a kid, your perspective of things are just different. Perhaps being an only child helps less.

When all is well and we knew that he got the message we wanted to relay, my wife thanked me for helping up with house chores. I said that t'was nothing because she also helped me a lot. Then she asked me how? I told her that she helped me in decisions that I have made. In pointing out my weaknesses and mistakes.

This morning, I realised that, those were not the only things that she is helping me with. There are tons of things she does that helps me a lot. From just doing everything at home to helping me with ideas how to deal with problems at work.

Marriage, I suppose, is not just a union of two people, it's also a partnership. We've been married for over 10 years now. We've had rough times, ups and downs and a lot of misunderstandings too.

However what I've realised is that we've overcome all of those because we are partners. A team who can solve more together.

If you treat you're wife more than just a person you are married to or just a mother to your child(ren) but a partner, a friend, a confidante, things will be different. It helps you become more sensitive and aware of things that are happening at home. It makes marriage... marriage :)

While I always thought that I knew the meaning of the saying "marriage is a two way highway...", now think I know it even more.     

COC, A Family Affair

Clash of Clans (CoC) is now a pastime at home, even a ‘thing’ perhaps. The game is just entertaining and quite honestly, addicting.

I used to play it before but withdrawn from it because I misunderstood some of the game’s rules as the level of experience go up. My son played it before too, but it’s just out of curiosity and probably because he has nobody to play it with. Joining a clan in the game (a group is called ‘clan’ in the game) can be quite frustrating especially when you don’t know anyone in there.

Anyway, when we visited Taiwan in the fall of last year, a big CoC event was happening in Chiang Kai-Shek Memorial Hall grounds. It was probably a regional or national competition between clashers. My son and I started talking about the characters of the game whose banners and replicas were on display. So the moment we got home, I downloaded the game once again and started playing it, only this time I play now with him.

My wife plays some games too but never with the games that we, the boys, play (and we do play a lot of RPGs). However, we got her to play this one because my son likes to tell her stories of what he’d done with his game whenever they’re alone together. The responses she could give him that time were only ‘Uhmm & OK’. We were able to persuade her to play the game eventually and now whenever the topic is CoC, she's no longer an outcast. 

Soon enough, our weekend ‘Family Affair’ was born and we called it 'CoC Wizards'.

CoC is a game of strategy so you’re going to need a lot of planning and patience (it will test a lot of your patience). My son is already very good in planning skills but is still learning to how to be patient. It seems that, with wisdom comes patience.

The game has a lot of twists, turns and surprises. You will feel that at times, any plan you prepare isn’t good enough to face adversities. You’re going to learn how to settle with what you have and get the best defence out of it. You will need to find ways to increase your resources in a given time frame. And, over time, you’ll get enough experience to know what the do’s and don’ts of the game are. 

This, in a way, is how we live our lives. 

From this though, I have learned that by doing anything together as a family on a regular basis can make your relationship tighter, in harmony with one another and more open. I was surpriseof the things that I was able to in these activities that I think I’ll never gonna get in any other situation. I was also surprised by how much I am teaching my child values in a language he can easily understand thru situational examples. It happened to me a lot.

Role Playing Games (RPG) such as this one can be really interesting. It might even tell a lot about yourself and the people you're playing it with. So, why not add some colours to your lives and play some family games.

El Nino Phenomenon, A Personal Version

It's really difficult to imagine that in a few more months, the network we built from scratch will vanish into thin air. Yes, the telecom network that we constructed a few years ago had been sold to one of the bigger operators in the country. Although this was anticipated when our the former major shareholder, an international operator itself, sold its entire share to its local partner.

Well the process actually started almost a year ago, but it didn't sink in until now. A lot of employees have already been released since it all started. Only a few of us are now working to finish the remaining tasks.

As it all happen, you come to think that things do really have their beginnings and ends. For ours, once a major threat in the industry, the end is here.

The question for me now, is what lies ahead after all of this?

I chose this role over the other offer I had prior to moving to this country because; 1) It's a better career option & 2) It presented a better opportunity for my career growth. The career growth was really there as I was able to achieve what I never thought was possible. I moved up the corporate ladder so fast that at one point, I  begin to question whether all the decisions I was making were the right ones. It seemed to be that way until all the mergers and sellouts happened.

You must be prepared when the worst of things come and that's what I regret the most, I didn't prepare myself enough. It's true that you should not dwell on things of the past but it is a lot easier said than done. You should live the present and prepare on what lies ahead or better yet plan ahead, a thought I should have kept with me all these times. There are lot's of what-if's now, a lot of what-could-have-been's.

The thing is, I find it more difficult to find a new job now than I used to before. While those who knew me seems to be optimistic of my professional future, I can't say the same for myself. I feel like there's an El Nino Phenomenon in my career nowadays and I can't seem to be on the same page with them. Not when you're receiving rejections and lots of dead-air responses from your job hunting.

It should have been a lot easier now that I have gained so much more experience. But I can't seem to hit the right spot, I can't seem to find the right gig for me. These predicaments are haunting me for a while now. I can't help but to think that I'm now insufficient to fit any role than I was before. It seems that I'm still not good enough (Talking about drought).

There was a time when my self esteem was so high I think I could jump off a twelve floor building and run away unscathed. I can't say the same... at least for now.

Then again, it's not all that bad (yet). I'm still in the payroll until all this handover is completed so that should calm me down, at least until the end. I'd like to think that a new seedling will emerge from the soil where the plant used to be.

But while all of my concerns remain valid and true, I hope, that things will fall into places at the right time. These are my tough days and probably a tough year ahead too, but I know that with the right attitude and perseverance, the grass will be greener. I just need to keep reminding myself of this day and that I should learn a thing or two from all of this, to better provide for my family now and for the years ahead.

Day #108, Insects #4

A Black Bee

Device Name: N-D60
Color Space: RGB
Focal Length: 55
F Number: 5.6
Exposure Time: 1/500
Alpha Channel: No
Red Eye: No

@ Knai Bang Chatt, Kep, Cambodia